What Do I Want?

Whenever I get asked this question in nearly any context, I have a bit of hesitation. This should be the one question that should not produce any hesitation whatsoever since there is no such thing as a right or wrong answer. The answer only comes from within and no one else can answer it best. Individual choice is at the hallmark of so many institutions from the free will of God’s creations in religion to the concept of individual freedom that is the cornerstone of western democracy.

Why is there hesitation for me? Someone reminded me recently when I mentioned that I am socially awkward at times that I don’t appear that way at all. Yet, I still think of myself internally. If I had any goals from seeking to learn more about myself through therapeutic sessions, this would be high on the list.

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Live. Breathe. Write.

This is the post excerpt.

I commit to writing something everyday. Over the past few months, I have felt myself descend into a darker abyss. I get up later. Everything takes a bit more effort. Those moments where I feel lonely even among the company of great friends appear with increasing frequency. Self-doubt surrounds me, suffocating my efforts to ascend.

I shared these thoughts with a friend who reminded me that I am a writer and as long as I am not writing, that which builds up inside of me will only burden me. This is why I started thisРwith the hope that I can live better, breathe easier and  ultimately survive. Perhaps a theme or focus can develop over time but for now my goal is to lift myself into a space of greater confidence and out of the muck of morass.

By committing to write, I am making a commitment to live and progress. As long as I am breathing, it is the least I can do.

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